Caregiver Survival

By Barbara Goodearl

As a caregiver, you spend most of your time being there for a loved one, which is an admirable thing to do. It shows your devotion and love, when it’s needed the most, in a very special way. However, being the caregiver you are, it is difficult to think of yourself. This is often true of teachers, nurses, and mothers. It is inborn and comes as second nature. Caregivers love to help, nurture, and sacrifice. These are positive qualities, but may not always be what is best for you, or the person you’re caring for.

When you help too much, it takes away your loved one’s ability to stay active and do for him/herself.  He/she may also feel like their independence is being taken away because they aren’t allowed to make decisions.  Your loved one may become lethargic, or feel like giving up when he has no say in things, like what and when to eat, or what to wear.  This ultimately makes your job more difficult.

Not only might the person being cared for feel smothered, but you have no time to pay attention to the other important person in this equation: you.

As a caregiver, remember that diversions and deep breathing sessions are crucial.  You need time away from the stress and monotony to exercise, be with friends, to rest and, do nothing.  It is important to let others come in and provide a change of scenery and personality for your friend or family member.  You should not feel guilty for leaving someone else in charge for a while.

So, plan a regularly-scheduled break.  Bring in “Just Like Family” a few times a week.  Call some friends who are willing and capable to take over.  Let them schedule a weekly time for a few hours to give you an opportunity to care for yourself.

If your loved one is in Hospice care, a trained volunteer can be assigned for four hours a week, at no cost to you.  This will free you run errands and tend to your own needs.   If you have family members close by, ask them to become involved as well.  Or, if family lives out of town, maybe they can visit for a few days to give you a break. This can be a blessing to them and your loved one.

Step back, take a deep breath, and make the decision to help yourself.  You will come back refreshed, and have more to give, which is what being a caregiver is all about.